dreams take me away

this whole week has just been strange, its kinda undescribable, its kinda whatever. i told someone something today that i should have just kept my mouth shut about. because now that i said it& actually talked about it, i feel even shittier. good job brittany, your making your life harder as you speak. whatever, i knew the outcome that i was going to get. i knew that nothing would change. so why did i even say anything? obviously, i like to bring myself down.

eh well tomorrow night is twilight, hopefully it will be so good that i forget all of everything that has been going on lately. part of me believes it will be that good, and part of me has no hope in it being that good. i guess i will just have to wait and see...

joseph and kenny think they seen a UFO! i completely believe them because it happened in the same place me and amanda saw one about a month ago. it so crazy, and it sucks that no one will ever believe me without thinking i was crazy in the back of their minds.

i think that im gonna go lay in my bed now and listen to music because im just not in the mood to do anything else. also, partly because this is the only real sleep i will be getting in a few days. i might as well get as much as i can.
dreams, take me away.

"my thoughts you cant decode"

paramore- i caught myself

"Down to you You're pushing and pulling me down to you
But I don't know what I
Now when I caught myself I had to stop myself
From saying something That I should've never thought
Now when I caught myself I had to stop myself
From saying something That I should've never thought of you of you
You're pushing and pulling me down to you
But I don't know what I want
No, I don't know what I want
You got it you got it
Some kind of magic
Hypnotic hypnotic
You're leaving me breathless
I hate this I hate this
You're not the one I believe in, With God as my witness
Now when I caught myself I had to stop myself
From saying something That I should've never thought
Now when I caught myself I had to stop myself
From saying something That I should've never thought of you of you
You're pushing and pulling me down to you
But I don't know what I want
No, I don't know what I want
Don't know what I want, But I know it's not you
Keep pushing and pulling me down
But I know in my heart it's not you
Now when I caught myself I had to stop myself
From saying something That I should've never thought
Now when I caught myself I had to stop myself
From saying something That I should've never thought of you
I knew, I know in my heart it's not you I knew,
but now I know what I want, I want, I want Oh no, I've should have never thought"

http://www.purevolume.com/paramoreband


this song explains things so perfectly right now.
like 100% of the song, there is no one line im not feelin.

holding back.

its not that i dont want to talk to you.
it would just be best for me if i didnt right now.
im gonna try and stifle these feelings.
Sent from my T-Mobile Sidekick®

your ship has sailed

i am not 5 anymore, im seven-fucking-teen, and i think its time for you
to let me handle my own problems. you dont have a special power to make
everything go your way, things just happen sometimes that we cant fix.
and as all knowing as you think you are, it would be nice if you just
shut your mouth and let me solve my own problems.
Sent from my T-Mobile Sidekick®

im here

i just read something and i now feel like crying :[

to 'you',
i am here. i know we hardly talk at all, heck, weve probably only spoke 25 sentences to eachother since ive known you, but i want you to know that im here if you need someone to listen, someone to talk to. it kills me to think that you think there is nothing for you anymore in the world. honestly, eventhough we havent talked that much, you were one of the coolest people ive met, and i beat myself up for not becoming better friends with you when i had the chance. honestly, im not just saying this to make you feel better, its truley how i feel. so yah, im here. i really hope you know this is pertaining to you......
love,
brittany.


ps- your are not a piece of shit.